Random Call

Hi there,


When I (am already trying to) forget you (a little bit), last week I received your phone call in the afternoon while I was randomly at the library  - our most favourite dating place. Never crossed in my mind that you'd actually call me just to say hi and giving your life-update during your travel time. You were in Kyoto and you did not do anything touristy that day, just chilling at the hostel you said. You just called your parents, talking for two hours, then you called me. But the signal was crap, we only talked for less than 10 minutes. Over the phone, you were still the same person with the over enthusiastic voice tone.
"I'm still going to get my Indonesian lesson, right?"
And I was like, yeah if you still feel like to learn about it. When you said that, I was sort of confused.What are we going to be after you get back here? Are we gonna be good friends / close friends / couple with 'it's complicated' status / lover? I do not want to think about it too seriously but I am in the phase of life that when it comes to relationship I need some sort of certainty. Let me see what is going to happen next. 11 days till you are home. I am excited but a little piece of my heart not wanting us to be the way we used to be before - 'with no status'. Back then, you considered us dating but you never brought me to your clique. We'd been dating for 2,5 months. After that you travelled for 2 months, only contacted me three times randomly. First, when you were arrived at Japan. Second, when you were arrived at Kyoto (I replied your line with such a long words and you only replied with one ROFL sticker -_-). Third, that phone call  a week ago.

And I just stumbled through your facebook today, seeing your photo. I guess I miss you a bit. But I hate you, more than just a little bit.

I Do Have

"Do you have whatsapp?"

Suddenly my heart stopped and butterflies tickled my stomach.
Started with "Anyway I'm jobless so I'm pretty much free everyday hahahha" and six hours later he asked for my whatsapp. I know, there's nothing special in it. Usually the most common reactions to my invitation to hangout if they was not really sure about that are "Sure, I'll let you know." or "Yeah that sounds great." or something that leads to nothing.
But he asked for my whatsapp number so he's being serious about hanging out with me. I try to keep it cool and don't wanna rush, so I will wait until morning to get back to him.

Still remember on Monday he asked, "What will you do on Saturday?"- and I have work on weekend - same as him.

On the bus, he randomly asked me to teach him Indonesian. He did not even know the geographical position of Indonesia before he met me.
He sat behind my seat and when I was facing the front side he said, "Hey Nada, you must teach me some Indonesian." and I told him about simple words like apa kabar dan nama saya. And when our eyes met each other, I was fckin melting. I couldn't hide my feeling that I have crush on him.

I feel like to meet him so often.


Man! Is this wrong?

Crush

Remember the guitarist I have ever told you about in the previous post? I met him on the beginning of January, after I got back from Melbourne. We just met for the first time and we just got this click happening between us. He's a good guitarist. We have different taste of music but our conversation flew so smoothly. He reminds me of some of my best-boy-friends in Indonesia.

But unfortunately he ended up with another band as guitarist with the plan to go tour around Australia and US. Our acoustic duo is going to the end haha. But he invited me to his band's performance on Australia Day. It was raining like all day but I managed to go there in the middle of his performance with my uni friend. We hung out a little bit after the performance, had a chit-chat with his friend. It was so fun to talk to him.


Plus, he's cute.

Too bad, he has a girlfriend.


Damn.

Ah...

Would you invest your time with someone who did not mutually invest their time for you?
Some people says it is not worth your time.
But when you follow your heart instead of logic, it is gonna be a very difficult one.

Back to a month ago, we were still contacting each other. Then now, we totally lost contact. The moment you did not reply to my 'Happy New Year', I just knew like 'snap' there is no future in it. That is the problem with distance, you have no idea with what happened from miles away. I constantly check your last seen on Whatsapp, your Facebook timeline, your band page. I sound like desperate stalker. I kept saying, "Stop that! There is no point in it."But I kept doing it over and over again. There is some sort of never ending curiosity. Although I guess now I already reached the point when I 'need' to really get over it and 'open' my eyes\heart\mind for another person out there.

From book, sushi, to ice cream

The weather is so fucked up for the past one and a half week, like non-stop raining and super windy. It is summer now, I need the sun not the rain. It ruined all my plan. 

Despite the confusing weather, starting with "When the hell will I see you? And what the fuck is this weather!?" on 12:24AM, it started my day today.

You called me on 12:42, while I was having my instant noodle for lunch because I was too lazy to cook any other food. 

"What? You have your lunch? It is too early to have lunch. I just had breakfast an hour ago."

Cause you woke at 10:30AM man! 

You was just like, "Okay so meet at Town Hall at 6PM."

Still full of confusion because it is not so you to ask me hangout around that time with actual hangout place - not just in library - and with this unfriendly weather condition. 

After two and half weeks, we finally hung out tonight. 

We had a coffee, you with the usual long black and me with the cappucino, at the cafe at the front of QVB. I was so excited to see you and having a chat with you. When you asked me, "When are you going back to Jakarta? Your friends must be so angry with you for not getting back there in holiday."

I was so excited, I put my wrist at the table and said so animately, "Yeah they always ask me when will I get back there." Then I spilt quarter of your coffee. Good thing it did not spill to your clothes. I felt bad. But you just laughed, "That's fine, I find that funny though." And you put a sugar in your long black, something you never do to your usual coffee.

"Ssst, I only do it if the coffee taste not that good."

Then we went to Kinokuniya for almost one and a half hour. This bookstore is so huge compare to Kino in Indonesia. I can stay there for quite a long time. But I just followed you cause you were the one who wants to find xmas present for your family. And your excitement with books - linguistic, history, poetry - makes me excited as well. You were like transferred all this positive vibe to other people, including me. I always tell the story with excitement, to you. 

We had Japanese dinner. Such a good food, good conversation, good mood, happy tummy, happy me cus finally you want to take a picture together with me. 

Last destination was the N2 Ice cream. Early bday treat from you. Thanks for the Ferero Revival  :)

The shop played Thinking Out Lound-Ed sheeran, I sang too obviously. And you suddenly said, "Oh my God, I hate this song. The lyric is so lame."

Then you asked "When will you have a gig? I really wanna see you sing."

----- Speaking of which, I got in contact with this guitarist who wants to have an acoustic duo. He's around my age so it's good. His music is more pop-rock and he gave me all the rock song list. I was thinking he looks for pop-rock voice. I gave him my soundcloud and he said I've a nice and clean voice. He opens to any other genre as well. Both of us keen to have gig, so I hope it's gonna take us to someplace.----

The bus to your place was on 10PM. Tsk I wish there's 24 hours bus to your place. 

But it was really good to see you today.

Thanks for the birthday early celebration.

It is still raining and windy here. 

Chicken soup day ey

Just when yesterday I wrote that I missed singing so bad, this morning while doing yoga, my former band member in Oz -our band broke up because of nonsense reason - emailed me and asked me and my other singer mate to get back to the band. It was such a coincidence. Should I get back? I guess I need to discuss it with my other singer friend. But i miss singing so so bad!

Anyway, I cooked my first chicken soup today. Too much vegetables and less water lol. Fortunately it tastes good, similar with mom's own. But I need to add more water and put another ingredients inside.

On the weekend, I will have another observation training for the kids' entertainer job. And bcos I said, "I'm confident enough to do the games and face painting but not the balloon twisiting.", she unexpectedly said "I'm giving you opportunity to sing, face paint, and playing games if you like this weekend." Wow, am I ready??? I should so no more useless weekend in the near future.

Today is grandpa's birthday! Happy birthday for one of the handsome man in da world. Love you heaps, wish I can be there to celebrate your birthday.

Then you texted me talking about storm, I replied then you didn't reply back. What the heck man. I just don't get it, just don't.

What First week of December looked like

Today was such a chill/stormy/moody family day. Accompanying dad to the mall for getting his haircut but his usual capster didn't come. Then we decided to go to the city. I planned to get us this pork belly around The Rocks area but there was road closure at George street and every way was getting detour. Far out.
First initial plan with pork in my mind was washed away. Dad parked around QVB. Had our lunch - only me and bro though - at Westfield. We wandered around the shopping centre. I felt like "Man I need a job, I need other life." To spend time with family is a very good thing I believe, but for every weekend, man you got to get yourself out, do what you gotta do and do what you love to do eventually.

But anyway the universe is being nice to me. On Saturday morning I got a chance to go to a kids' parties with my new boss for observation. Yeah baby, I got my first weekend job! It was unexpected actually. Just saw an ad on internet looking for kids' party entertainer. I applied on Monday and the owner asked me to come along with her on Saturday to see what the role would be like.  I woke up earlier on 7am, unusual wake up time for a jobless like me. She asked me to wear nice clothes and make up and met her at station on 11 am. Since I live far on eastern and the station is on western, i should be very time-organised this time. Gladly I woke up early so I still had a chance to do laundry, having proper cereal breakfast, having a chat with dad for our family trip to Melbourne next two weeks. Anyway, after saw those two parties - the Ozzy and Indian kids' parties - it was such an overwhelming experience. For me who grew up in  family who loves to organise a birthday party - it was like seeing my childhood time. So what I should do in this role are dressing in a costume, throwing a couple of fun games, doing face-painting and balloon twisting. She even allowed me to do singing and dancing if I am comfortable to do so. She actually wants me to jump out there as soon as possible since she has a lot request during this time of the year. But I told her that I need to observe her two-three times to really get a clear idea about the routine. She was really cool with it and let me take my time to learn. The good side is I am her first trainee. So far she always works by herself for almost 10 years. Now it is the time for her to pass the knowledge and time to a younger person. I will do my best!
It feels good to have your spare time doing something none other than arts and performing, entertainment. Something I always have passion for.
I am still keen for having funk/r'nb/jazz/pop music gig and creating my own music. I know it takes time. But having performing hiatus for almost 10 months is driving me nuts, seriously. I spend my free-time for the past 3 weeks for making my own music, despite my limitation in musical instruments, or just doing karaoke from youtube. It trains my vocal ability and release all the stress. It feels like my heart wanna scream "MAN I WANNA DO MUSIC MY WHOLE LIFE!". Nothing else.
I contacted someone from this facebook group who wants to have a freeform jazz/funk group. I have no idea if they need singer, so I was just giving him message in FB. He seems into instrumentalist jazz. I told him to contact me if he needs vocal in it.

10 months without performing. I'm craving for stages!


Now this is "your" part.

I just don't get it what you trying to do with my life. Everyday you always say hi, asking lagi ngapain. Sometimes I miss you so bad until it comes to the point I do not want to contact you first or hoping to much cus I'm afraid my heart will be mixed up. Sometimes the funny thing happened between us. Still remember I came up late for your special gig at Marrickville, I was 10 minutes late. Your band finished earlier than the schedule. Then 3 days ago it was DJ Jazzy Jeff special free performance at Surry Hills. We supposed to meet up before the show for martabak, your favorite Indonesian food, at Ultimo. BUT you fell asleep it was already 630pm meanwhile you have your friend's EP launching on 8pm. We decided to cancel the dinner. I still went out to Jazzy Jeff, having fun dancing through the night, without alky at all lol and I danced like krazy. Nothing could stop me hey. I got back on 1am, hopped on 1:10am bus. You texted me "We tried to get in but got denied." And I was like,'man why dont you tell me earlier, I just got in to the bus 5 minutes ago." Found out he was there an hour ago and he was already at home that time.  So after his friend's event, he came to surprise me but he was being denied to come inside cus he was a lil bit drunk from the beer he drank previously. Plus his battery was dead.
We didn't hang out at all this week. Knowing the fact that you have finished all your assignments and only need to do the transcriptions, I thought it's gonna give us more quality time. But so far, no movie night, no jazz gig, no proper date as you've promised to me couple of times.